Poetry2ponder's Blog

“Becoming Me” by Trevor Witt

I did not set out to be born,
I was not conceived with a charted course,
I am an explorer — crossing oceans of unknowns,
I am learning every day, and will never be “full grown”.

“My first time” by Trevor Witt

My first time,
It was awkward,
I was nervous,
Scared of judgment,
Feeling naked,
Even before baring myself,
I yearned for connection, trust,
Wanted, to let my guard down,
To share vulnerability,

And then I started reading my poem.

“Wasted worries (That’s okay)” by Trevor Witt

Wasted worries,
Time I will never get back,
I was afraid.
But it would be okay — either way.
Anxious, muy nerviosa,
C’est la vie; that’s life.
It happens — not always how we want,
But we go on, breathing in, and out,
Like the beat of ocean waves,
Or the pulse of a quasar.

We just are.
We just are.

–

Turn it off,
Put it to sleep,
Your restless mind,
Your aimless stress,
Overwhelming you,
With too many minute problems,
Nuisances, little tasks,
Adding up to a giant snowball,
Stop catastrophizing.

If the avalanche hits you,

It hits you.

–

Stop beating yourself up,
There are plenty of other people
Who will, gladly, do it for you.
Forgive yourself, while you put in the work,
You deserve to heal. You deserve to feel whole.

–

I don’t know what I’m doing,
But I am doing it,
And I am learning,
And that’s okay.

“Waiting for you (it isn’t today)” by Trevor Witt

Waiting for you,
To take off your pants,
To hop into bed with me,
To cuddle and kiss,
To giggle beneath the blankets,

I long to be between your thighs,
To feel your legs caressing mine,
To slide up your body,
To run my fingers through your black hair,
To cry with you after a hard day,

I am dead inside now,
Slowly, I stir, like a zombie,
Whose corpse moves,
Without passion, without brains,
A lifeless, soulless doll.

But I am trying to move on,
Attempting to heal,
Like the cells of skin, around a scar,
I will forget you one day.

But it isn’t today.

“Your smile shines like a sunrise” by Trevor Witt

Your smile shines like a sunrise,
And with every goodbye,
The sun drifts behind the mountains,
And under the sea, and I am left,
In the moonlight, reflecting on a reflection
Of your face, watching the waves
Of emotions, of gratitude and awe,
Loneliness, and yearning to see you again.

“Skipping Meals” by Trevor Witt

Skipping meals,
Empty stomach,
Two dollars in my bank account,
One hundred and twenty in my pocket,
But I need gas,
For a whole week,
And I will need dinner,
For a whole week,
And I need to save some,

In case of an emergency.

“Coffee, Music, Love” by Trevor Witt

Coffee is my sustenance.
Music is my religion.
My soul is love.

“Imagine everyone naked (Before G-d)” by Trevor Witt

Imagine everyone naked,
What’s the big deal?
We are animals,
Roaming the earth in our shells,
Clothing our insecurities in costumes,
Customs and habits and societal mores.

We want more,
To deny our fragility,
To understand our frailty,
To defy our limitations,

“To go where no man has gone before”.

We are curious critters,
Wanting to see new lands,
To meet new people,
To try new things.
We do not want

To get old.

We want to eat,
To grow,
To have sex,
Sometimes, to reproduce.

We want love,
And faith, hope and comfort.
We fear our nakedness,

As we stand bare,
Before G-d.

“Las flores or dead end” by Trevor Witt

Las flores or dead end?
I turn to Las Flores,
And walk next to these tiny beings,
Full of soothing greens and poignant oranges.
Cute brown critters scurry up the trees,
As I approach slowly, cautiously, the ducks,
Hazy yellow sunlight and slightly smoggy blues,
Parade in the park, gifting me comforting hues.

Slivers of sunlight reach through the trees,
Greeting us before they gradually depart,

Goodbye is temporary,
As we sleep beneath the stars.

“Finding G-d” by Trevor Witt

Finding G-d,
In a duck,
In the pink flowers growing on vines,
Wrapped around the trellis,
Adjacent to the cafe,
In the suburban sprawl,
Amongst the trees,
In the roses and birds of paradise,
That flourish around my condo complex,

While I feel my struggles –
Of rent, traffic tickets, low income, and loneliness –

G-d is all around –
In me – in every cell consuming oxygen,
Transferring electrons, in a chain of reactions,
We can never comprehend the beauty,
Of the Mystery within and without,
Holding us tightly, and letting us flounder.
Instead, we embrace the awe,
As we float amongst the stars.

“Not exactly abandoned” by Trevor Witt

Not exactly abandoned,
Just left alone,
Some deep insecurity is triggered,
And my eyes well up.

Plans change.
It’s not that unusual,
Maybe’s are not yeses.
When no one is in charge,
No one feels responsible.

Commitments might conflict,
People double book themselves,

They change their minds.

It’s not as though I never flaked.
It’s not personal.

Everyone, every one,
Has their own shit to deal with.

“Finding a point on a curve” by Trevor Witt

Finding a point on a curve,
We accept that there is a curve,
A graph made up of points,
We assume the motion or change
Of the curve is not entirely continuous,
But can be broken up into discrete moments,
Time can be fractionalized, rather than irrationalized.
If you see my point,
You may miss my trajectory,
And yet the waves are only one aspect
Of the Ocean of Infinity.

We have a Planck length’s understanding
Of billions of light years of Existence.

“Radio waves traverse my brain” by Trevor Witt

Radio waves traverse my brain,
The music dances in my skull,

Transformed from electrical impulses
Into sound waves, generated by
A speaker, a musician, a poet,
Converted by my eardrum
Into mechanical energy,
Transformed into fluid motion,
Assisted by my ossicles,
And activating neurons via cations,
Delivered via channels,
Opened up by swaying stereocilia,
Generating chemical-electrical current,
Processed by nerves in my brain,

I can feel it,
In my bones.

(I enjoy the inner workings,
Of the interconnected.)

“Answer (lost)” by Trevor Witt

Everyone has an answer,
They all believe in me,
When I tell them I don’t know,
When I express doubt and fear,
But they have their own vision,
Their own monsters, and their own dreamworlds.
While well intentioned,
they are not in my mind,
Only I can expel my worries,
And articulate my art.
In time, I will create my own path,
For now, it is okay to be lost.

“I don’t have the energy” by Trevor Witt

We moved quickly,
Into each other’s orbits,
Like particles in an accelerator,
We were destined to collide.

You showed me the “god” particle,
Leaving me shattered, like an ice cube,
Thrown onto a frozen lake, our love,
Leaving ripples in our space-time,
Turning you into a wave, goodbye,
Goodbye, you told me you couldn’t see our future,
Can anyone?
See the future?

Now, I am beta decay,
With a positive and a negative outlook – no longer a neutron –
Composed of opposite charges,
You’ll ask, “What’s the matter?”
And I’ll say,

I don’t have the energy.

“You better not be bitter” by Trevor Witt

You better not be bitter,
It tastes like resentment,
A yucky mint,
An icky feeling,
A painful sentiment.

Give yourself a spoonful of sugar,
Try a little sweet laughter,
Practice being a clown,
Let go of your hurt,
It is heavy and only makes you frown.

“Take a step back” by Trevor Witt

Take a step back,
From the edge,
Of your reality, your perception,
Of your seat, the cliff,
So that you can see,
The vastness of the sea,
And the canyons, the spaces between the hills,
And the peaks and valleys of your moods.

“I have laid out a plan (full of change)” by Trevor Witt

I have laid out a plan,
Strategized and devised,
Courses of action and contingencies,
I’ve ran with half-baked ideas,
Refusing to let them leaven,
And so I do not rise,
But no matter what level of planning,
It all starts with planting,
A single seed of action,

To sprout

A glorious dream,
Full of hope and doubt,
Beautiful and strange,
And full of change.

“The future is abundant (unbounded)” by Trevor Witt

The future is abundant,
A series of uncertainties,
Probabilities which we might try to evaluate, approximately,
To estimate our fortunes – or our losses,
But the sheer absurdity of our ignorance
Is rooted in the enormous cliffs of our imagination,
We cannot even define our own minds.
How can we hope?
To understand?
Reality?

The future is unbounded.

“Brother, I need your help (freedom)” by Trevor Witt

Brother, I need your help,
They won’t let me eat here,
And I can’t use their roads,
Because they are so full of fear.

Stuck in a city full of bigots,
I wish I could turn off hatred’s spigot.
Sometimes I think I should give up,
I’ll go to another water fountain to fill my cup.

But, if I run now, I’ll be running my whole life.
And that shame and anger hurt worse than a knife.

They tell me to accept the status quo,
Saying it will change one day, you know.

But I won’t wait my whole life to be free.
I will stage a sit-in and I will take a knee.

Please stand with us as we take a stand,
Let’s sing “Let freedom ring” and hold each other’s hands.

Our love can light the path,
Every one matters, you do the math.

Stand with us as we take a stand,
Let freedom ring in each and every land.

“I am not a perfect computer” by Trevor Witt

The paralysis caused by fear
Slows my pen and hinders my pick,
Short-circuiting my creative outlets.
But I know that I have power,
And I choose to rewire my worries,
Unperturbed by my human insecurities.

I have faults,
I make mistakes.
There are bugs in my system,
And I often need updates.

I am not a perfect computer.

“A damn good cappuccino” by Trevor Witt

A damn good cappuccino
Can change your entire day,
Shifting your perspective,
Propelling you forward,
Waking you up to possibilities.
Coffee, an algorithm for rewiring the brain,
A method of madness,
A science experiment gone right,
Fertile grounds for a new beginning.

“Imagine (Looking out for one another)” by Trevor Witt

Imagine housing for everyone.
Imagine having enough to eat.
Imagine having a good night’s sleep.
Imagine not being harassed by police.
Imagine having a place called home,
A safe space,
With neighbors who care,
Sharing a meal,
Relaying job opportunities,
Looking out for one another.

How beautiful it would be!

“The Juxtaposition Of Images (And the chocolate croissant in my stomach)” by Trevor Witt

The juxtaposition of images,
Like words, paints a picture,
As do taste and smell,
Like the swirl of espresso,
Mixed with steamed milk,
And I am overcome
By the shades of green,
As they fade into yellows,
And I am intrigued
By the shades of brown,
From dried leaves, to branches, to dirt,
And I am fulfilled
By the blue sky and the trees overhead,
And the chocolate croissant in my stomach.

“Shift Our Ways” by Trevor Witt, inspired by SOW Collective

Shift our ways,
Sow community,
Sow friendship,
Sow a seed,
Sow a garden,
Sow an oasis,
A break from the desert,
Reclaiming land for life,
Cultivating growth and curiosity,
So we can continue,
To survive and to thrive,
Shifting our ways,
Sowing humility,
Sowing opportunity,
Sowing collaboration,
Sensing our wisdom,
Shifting our ways.

“Be still (Will you?)” by Trevor Witt

Be still,
Or move,
There is no other action.

Spin,
Vibrate,
Build momentum from a single point.

The world is turning,
Will you?

“Afraid to bloom” by Trevor Witt

Afraid to bloom,
Because criticizing critters might consume,
My petrified petals,

Afraid of my own judgements,
I feel unworthy of bearing fruit,
Unworthy of love, unworthy of my roots,

Ready to wither,
I am already decaying, slowly desiccating,
And yet I receive water,

From some kind souls,
Filled with love and compassion,
And slowly, the ground softens,

They lay fresh mulch beside me,
And slowly, the earth begins to heal,
Replenishing the soil and nourishing me.

Now I will grow into what I know I could become,
A giant oak, with a sturdy trunk, overlooking my saplings,
My leaves and branches still tremble, in awe of the winds and rains of Giving,

And I am finally ready to let my acorns go.

“I Dreamt Of Being Tortured” by Trevor Witt

I dreamt of being tortured,
Stabbed over and over,
With a butter knife,
Pressed into my skin,
Under my left collar bone,
Next to my shoulder,
Into my stomach as well.
Maybe it is the nightmare of the current war,
Seeping into my dreams like toxic sludge,
Or maybe it was memories of middle school,
When classmates through small rocks at me in PE,
Or maybe it was flashbacks to the times my parents were yelling,
Late at night, because my private school tuition was costing them and arm and a leg,
Maybe it was a premonition about the horrifying experiences faced by POWs,
It felt like torture, dreaming of being prodded, poked, and stabbed.

And surprisingly, in my dream,
It was an imaginary ex-girlfriend,
A stalker who would not let me go.

Then I woke up, after three hours of sleep,
With no girlfriend, no war, no one beside me,
Only the dark night and the cool, quiet breeze, with nowhere to go.

“Itsy Bitsy Blessings” by Trevor Witt

Itsy bitsy blessings,
Like crawling and singing,
And learning to write
To retain knowledge,
To improve a process,
To practice a craft,
Warm coffee and a cool breeze,
Thank you Universe for these.

“I met my enemy” by Trevor Witt

I met my enemy
Outside the gates of our expectations,
Past the confines of our history,
As a stranger I had never known,
Despite trepidation and hurt,
I met them with curiosity,
And from that day on,
A friendship has grown.

“The bully throws pieces of paper at me” by Trevor Witt

The bully throws pieces of paper at me,
In class, while the teacher doesn’t see –
Or maybe she pretends not to.

What can she do?
If he gets in trouble,
He will take it out on me.
What can I do?

After telling him to stop,
He challenges me to a fight.
I cannot let the bully win.
His friend backs him up,
But neither wants to fight me alone.
Meeting after school, I am afraid.
I asked a friend for backup,
But I don’t remember if they came.
We all threw down our backpacks,
Ready to throw jabs and kicks,
But instead we just talked shit.

We were all afraid.

In the end, I walked away unscathed.
No punches were thrown,
No one was hurt,
But I stood up to my bully that day.

At the same time, it could have been so much worse,
One of us could have ended up in a hearse.
Violence is the refuge of the terrified and angry, the hurt and afraid.
In my heart of hearts, I hope those boys are okay.

“I oppose bullies with every fiber of my being” by Trevor Witt

Volodymyr Zelensky,
My hero, my brother,
Poems and legends will be told
Of his bravery and his truths
Long after the history of this war has grown old.

I am sad I cannot stand with you,
But I find my heart unwilling to kill,
I bear no person or creature ill will.

Yet I stand in solidarity,
For this war, there is a certain moral clarity.
While Vladimir Putin clings to images of the past,
His actions are creating refugees fast.

There is no excuse for invasion and occupation,
No matter the historical ties of the nation.
If we justify present belligerence by past atrocities,
We simply create more tragedies and future animosity.

This is true across time and space,
In Belfast and Addis Ababa, Jerusalem and Alsace.

While I reject violence and seek peace,
I do not expect resistance to cease.
While Putin expects Ukraine to fall
Ordinary people heed Zelensky’s call,
Standing in front of Russian convoys,
People are not pawns; they are not Putin’s toys.

As Putin started the invasion,
Zelensky continued to call for peace.
As Putin called Zelensky a Nazi,
Russian propaganda did not cease.

Zelensky’s grandpa fought the Nazis
In the Soviet army and lost three brothers.
Does Putin care if Russian sons die? If he makes
Grief and devastation for thousands of Russian mothers?

To paraphrase journalist Daniel Pearl,

I am a Jew.
My father is a Jew.
My mother is a Jew,
And Zelensky is a Jew.

We value life and freedom, compassion and justice.
Having experienced redemption, we want these not just for us.
I am a Jew and my religion teaches me not just to believe, but to do,
To be kind, to seek justice and pursue it, to clothe the needy, and to welcome the stranger,
To free the oppressed, and to oppose the tyrant, not just for me, but for you too.

I oppose bullies with every fiber of my being,
And I find it hard to believe what I am seeing.
How can a father of two daughters – Putin – cause pain for so many?
What kind of leader sends their troops to occupy neighbors?
This is not justified in this case or in any.
Occupying forces always fail –
After tragedies run their course.

I stand against violence and with every oppressed person,
Whether their name is Volodymyr, Vladimir, Salim, or Shalom.
Whether their name is MacDonald, Gaurav, or Gershon,
Every people should feel safe in their home.

I am a Jew and what Israel is doing to Palestinians is wrong.
The Irish, the Indians, and African-Americans have sang the same song.
As Martin Luther King Jr. said, “let freedom ring”,
So too will we Survivors, in solidarity sing,

Let my people go,
Way down in Egypt land,
Tell old Putin,
Let my people go.

Every Pharaoh and every Caesar,
Faces plagues and a Brutus.
We all long to be free.
You will never subdue us.

Zelensky and I are Jews,
Like Mordechai, we will
Never bow to you.

“There is no field you can hide from G-d above (Love)” by Trevor Witt

There is no field you can hide from G-d above,
G-d is my shield, found in every expression of love.
Love is in every rock and river,
In my warm blanket when I shiver.
Love is in the clouds and the rain,
The desire for life amidst great pain.
Love is in birds singing and chirping,
And in babies whining and crying and burping.
Love is in our looks of awe when our curiosity overwhelms us,
And in our hugs and kisses when family returns to us.
There is no mountain where love cannot be found.
It is in every sky and ocean, even underground.

You cannot kill love with missiles.
You cannot control it with bombs.
While hatred and anger rage,
Love balms and it calms.

The tyrant seeks control because fear thrashes within.
Yet they will claim with certitude that they never sin.
With arrogance overgrown, and empathy rarely shown,
They close themselves off and make love unknown.

Let go of the fear,
Allow yourself to shed a tear,
For love will find you,
Whether you are there or here.